During an hour and a half massage yesterday before my break at work, I started to get hungry. I had brought a salad heavy with chickpeas and other vegetables along with a couple of Mandarin oranges, and suddenly that was not sounding heavy enough. I am going to say something men hate to hear--my period is coming. And when that is on its way, my appetite increases tenfold, and I am not necessarily craving carrot or celery sticks.
I started to fantasize about walking a couple doors down to get a black bean and brown rice burrito from Chipotle. I was really into to it--the beans, the rice, the salsa, the lettuce, maybe some guacamole. Wait! Guacamole is super fat. Ooo, what about the grilled vegetables? No, probably cooked in oil. I did not care, I was going to do it. I just had to decide whether it was going to be a low fat burrito or a high fat one.
After I cleaned up from the massage and stood in the break room contemplating the burrito, guilt took over my consciousness and I stayed to eat my salad. I still had about thirty minutes left in my break after finishing my meal and started to consider that burrito again. My extreme premenstrual exhaustion saved me that time, because the idea of having to hustle out and get the burrito with two more massages ahead in my schedule, sounded about as exhausting as trying to push over a brick wall with my bare hands.
Earlier in the day, I had decided that when I got home after work, if I felt hungry, I would eat an apple and if that did not do it, some brown rice with Bragg's Liquid Aminos. I did eat the apple, but I also nibbled on some Kettle Krinkle Cut Salt and Fresh Ground Pepper Potato Chips. Gerald takes these for a snack at work. I read the label a hundred times to make sure they were vegan. On their website (which I will admit I am just now checking after eating some chips last night) in the FAQs section, when asked if their products are dairy free they say:
"Our products are processed on equipment shared with ingredients that contain very small amounts of dairy. We thoroughly clean our lines after each flavor run, but there is a slight potential of cross contamination."
All right, so I will not eat more Kettle chips. The salt and fat was satisfying to my taste buds though, I will admit.
Oddly, I did not eat the brown rice as planned. Instead making crispy tortilla chips from my Ezekiel tortillas and dipping them in low fat hummus sounded better. I really wanted to dip them in salsa, but I am currently out. I believe the solution is to browse through my Forks Over Knives, The Cookbook by Del Sroufe and The Get Healthy, Go Vegan Cookbook by Neal Barnard, M.D. Because honestly, my own creations are all starting to essentially be the same meal with little variation. I am getting bored.
I also follow Vegetarian Times Magazine on Facebook, and they are constantly bombarding me with pictures of gorgeous -likely fat laden- dishes. I also follow Chef Chloe's posts, and the woman loves to bake, bless her soul. I am the yin to her yang, because I love to EAT baked goodies.
Happily, my challenge is not that I desire animal products for food, just that I seem to be craving fattier foods. OK, and sugary foods--not simply fruit, devine though fruit can be.
Reviewing my food list for yesterday before sharing it here, I am seeing how I probably began to crave fats and sugars yesterday because I did not actually eat much in terms of quantity. It was the one day of the week when I go into work earlier, and I believe not having as much time for filling up on healthy foods may be the culprit. Quantity and new recipes will hopefully be the solution. Hoping today goes better.
Here is what I ate:
Breakfast: Breakfast Scramble leftovers, coffee with soymilk.
I have to admit, the craziness started early. The potatoes in this recipe screamed for ketchup, and I gave in. I drizzled a fairly small amount over the scramble. The sugar in the ketchup is probably what got the ball rolling down hill.
Snack: Chocolate soymilk, single serving box (8 oz.).
Uh oh, see? So soon I was looking for more sugar.
Lunch: Bean, veggie and rice leftovers from lunch the day before.
Oddly enough, I recall not being all too hungry when I ate this. It was a small serving, maybe about a cup in size with all of the ingredients, but I ate it because I knew it would be about four hours until I could eat again.
Dinner: Salad with Annie's Natural dressing, 2 Mandarin oranges.
Red leaf lettuce, chickpeas, cucumbers, carrots, red bell peppers, and Annie's fat free mango dressing.
Later: Fuji apple, handful of Kettle chips, Ezekiel tortilla w/ hummus, raisins.
I mentioned the apple, chips, tortilla and hummus above, but I did not mention the raisins. I REALLY wanted some dessert, but another piece of fruit just did not seem sweet enough. I just snacked on the raisins.
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